


The ASPCA Job

by james



Category: Leverage
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 16:18:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1121944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/james/pseuds/james
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parker has a new job for them.  Alec isn't sure this is what he signed up for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The ASPCA Job

**Author's Note:**

  * For [7iris](https://archiveofourown.org/users/7iris/gifts).



Alec didn't flinch when Parker landed on the couch beside him, nor did he give in to the urge to check the ceiling. He'd deliberately moved the couch so that it wasn't underneath any vents, rafters, or skylights. There was nothing but flat, solid ceiling sixteen feet above their heads. There shouldn't be anything up there for Parker to have jumped from.

He didn't look, because after living with Parker and Eliot for the few months, he'd learned that if he knew exactly what Parker had done, his head would hurt and his heart would skip a beat out of fear that one of these days she was going to fall on her head and break it open. He didn't ever say so, because he also knew better than to cast doubt on Parker's abilities -- not because she was completely badass and capable of doing anything she set her mind to, but more because when she looked sad he tended to fall over himself trying to make it better and it was ten thousand times worse when he was the one who'd made her sad.

Instead of looking up, he calmly picked up his soda and took a long drink, ignoring the way Eliot rolled his eyes at him. The man seriously had no appreciation for the finer things in life, but that was another thing Alec had -- sort of -- learned not to say out loud. Eliot could argue long and loud about anything, but especially about Alec's definition of 'finer things.' Admittedly, the way he felt about their arguing had been the first clue when Alec had first tried to figure out why Eliot drove him so incredibly nuts. Now they argued just as much and just as heatedly, but at least now sometimes they could distract one another from trying to win the argument, with sex.

All in all, Alec considered it a vast improvement.

Right now, Eliot was sitting in his chair sipping some weird, hand-crafted ale and judging Alec's elixir of life, and of course he didn't look at all surprised by Parker's sudden appearance. Alec reminded himself that Eliot had probably heard her coming the entire way. 

There had been a time when Alec had envied Eliot his awareness of everything around him and his ability to identify things from the tiniest detail. That had lasted until about two months after he and Parker had finally convinced Eliot to move in already, and sleep in the damn bed they'd built especially to be big enough for three. Alec had been watching Eliot walk through a bookstore, watching him glance around every so often in a way that appeared on the surface to be relaxed and casual. But Alec had seen how Eliot had never stopped moving, never stopped listening and watching _everything_ and it had hit him. Alec didn't know how, exactly, he'd finally realised what he was seeing, but he'd remembered a story he'd heard about elite soldiers who couldn't live among people because they simply couldn't stand down anymore, so used to being hyper-aware of every potential threat that they had to go live in the woods alone so they wouldn't hurt anybody.

Alec had seen Eliot with every sense was on alert just walking through a damn Barnes and Noble, and he'd wanted to reach out and hug him, tell him he was safe, they were all safe, and that he could relax. He hadn't, of course, because they were in public and there was no guarantee they actually were safe. But afterwards, Alec had spent a few extra nights going over the security they'd installed on their place and asked Parker to test things just one more time, until he felt like he'd done everything he possibly could to make their home as safe as it could be. 

He'd never said anything to Eliot about it, knowing the other man would just make that judgmental little scoffing sound -- the one Alec loved hearing when it was directed at bad guys, but not so much when it was aimed at _him._ Okay, so technically he _was_ a bad guy, but Alec knew what he meant. He'd kept his mouth shut and he'd let Parker and Eliot make their own decisions about just how safe their home was, and gradually he'd noticed they'd grown more comfortable and more relaxed until now, every once in a while, Alec thought he could see them letting down their guards.

Right now Alec could see that Eliot was still hyper-aware of his surroundings, but his feet were up and the line of his shoulders was easy, and he was smiling back at Alec as though he knew Alec was thinking angry thoughts about defending his orange soda. Alec took another good, long gulp of it just to prove his point, even if he didn't think he was making a point other than that one day Parker was going to give him a heart-attack if she kept dropping on him from ceilings that she shouldn't have been clinging to in the first place. Because how in the hell had she gotten up there and stayed long enough to sneak up on him and drop down to the couch?

He couldn't take it anymore. Alec glanced upwards. Nothing. Not even a bolt and hook. Just flat ceiling, and damn, she wasn't even wearing shoes or climbing gloves. She was stealing potato chips out of his bag, rooting through for the ones she liked best (which Alec thought looked identical to all the other chips, but Parker had just pouted at him when he'd said that and Alec had just given her a bowl to dump the "bad" chips in.)

"I have our next job," she said suddenly, and Alec leaned forward to grab his keyboard and opened a new search window, ready to start typing as soon as she gave them the details. He saw her watching, saw the tiny nod she gave and he felt a flush of pride at her. When they'd first started working for Nate, Parker had been so unsure of her abilities as anything but a thief. She'd hardly known how to deal with people other than taking wallets from them, and now here she was, calming and confidently leading their Leverage, the Sequel team.

True, he and Eliot tended to make it easy for her by not arguing with her very much, and in the last few months they'd discovered that cuddling through the afterglow of really amazing sex did a lot for employee morale.

Alec was a little worried about the way Parker had recently been talking about bringing on interns. He was pretty sure she didn't mean into their bed, but if they'd accidentally taught her that sex was a management technique, they needed to sit down and have another conversation. He made a mental note to ask Eliot what he thought, later.

"There's an animal shelter in Waylon, Washington," Parker said. "I saw pictures online and I went up there to take a look while you two were pretending to go fishing yesterday." She was frowning and Alec was already calling up maps and news for the small town.

As he typed, Alec said, "Excuse you, we were fishing, not pretend-fishing."

"We were sitting in the living room waving fake fishing rod handles at a TV screen," Eliot countered. "The only fish I fried last night were ones I bought at the market."

"But I caught seven fish and how many did you catch?" Alec asked. "None."

"Seven pretend fish," Eliot said, pointing a finger at him. "And only because I gave up and let you win."

Alec was about to protest -- there was no "letting" anything, but he stopped himself and looked at Parker. "So what's up with this animal shelter?"

She looked outraged as she said, "They keep their cats in cages." 

Alec waited. He heard Eliot shifting in his chair, glanced over to see him leaning forward, elbows on his knees. Alec looked back at Parker. "And...?"

Parker just glared at him. "And so we have to go rescue them!"

Another glance at Eliot showed Alec that he wasn't the only one not quite following. He tried again to find out what the job was. "And someone's siphoning off their donations? The CFO is committing fraud and framing the volunteers? Who's our client?"

"Aren't you listening?" Parker stood up and for a second Alec thought she was going to smack him with a throw pillow. That was exactly the reason he'd tried to get rid of the damn things, but Eliot had said he wanted them around for ammunition in case someone broke in. 

Alec had stopped arguing at that point, because he did not want to know if it was possible to kill a man by throwing a pillow at him. He shook his head at Parker. "Did someone contact you about this shelter?"

"No! Hardison, I told you -- I went up there and they're keeping the cats in _cages!_ Cats don't belong in cages! We have to go rescue them!" She looked genuinely upset, and Alec reached out and touched the back of her hand, lightly. 

From behind him, Alec heard Eliot snap, "Dammit, Parker, every shelter in the country--"

Alec had never moved so fast in his life, but he spun around and clamped his hand -- towards the direction of Eliot's mouth, which Eliot batted away with a very amazingly hot murderous glare, and how was this Alec's life now, that he found that attractive? But it did the job of distracting Eliot from finishing his sentence.

Quickly, Alec said, "Takes much better care of their cats, you are so right, Parker, we need to do something about this _one shelter,_ " He gave Eliot a meaningful glare, which made Eliot roll his eyes in disgust but he didn't try to correct him. Christ, all they needed was to go visit every shelter in the world, rescuing cats from cages. Alec turned back to Parker and asked, carefully, "So...what exactly is your plan? We could make an anonymous donation and specify they have to build a nicer living environment for their animals?"

Parker was still scowling, unhappily. "We need to get those cats out of the cages. Those cages are _small,_ Hardison. They don't have any room to catch things and kill them."

"Okay, I get that, but I don't see how this calls for a con job, exactly. Seems like we can just move a half million into their accounts and tell 'em to build big rooms for the cats."

Because dear God, he knew exactly what Parker meant by "rescue." He did not want to share his living space with twenty cats. He looked over at Eliot and raised an eyebrow. Did _he_ want to share his living space with twenty cats?

Eliot sighed, gave a half-roll of his eyes like he wanted to beat his head against something hard, but that sometimes he admitted to the futility of objecting to the insane things he put up with. "Parker, do you want us to go up there and build a nicer shelter for them?" Eliot asked. "We can tell 'em it's a donation, but we can do the construction and that way you know it's done right."

Which, okay, Alec had not been asking if he wanted to go do some actual physical labor, what the hell. He tried to glare his objection at Eliot, who just looked innocently confused as though he had no idea what Alec was mad at him for. Which, _liar._ Alec glared, then waggled his eyebrow at him, telling him just exactly how much of a liar Alec knew he was. Eliot shrugged and shook his head like he didn't even speak this language, what did Alec possibly mean, and someone was going to sleep on the couch tonight if he didn't stop messing around because he was going to piss off Parker by not paying attention.

"Can we?" Parker asked, interrupting them. "Hardison, you didn't see them! Horrible metal cages and the rooms are all linoleum flooring and bad lighting and I didn't see a single mouse for them to hunt down." She was pouting, now, and Alec didn't even bother denying he was hooked. It didn't help that she was genuinely sad about the poor cats, and, see above, Alec really couldn't stand it when she looked sad. Lucky for him, Eliot was just as bad, so at least Alec wouldn't be the only one getting splinters and hammering nails and whatever.

"We're not bringing any cats home with us," he warned.

Eliot and Parker exchanged a look, and Alec sighed. Maybe he could at least keep them down to three cats. And he was damn sure not cleaning any litter boxes.

~~~

When they got home, Alec declared that the cats were not allowed on the bed, on his computers, or anywhere near his shoes. Eliot just laughed at him and to be honest, Alec didn't really have to ask why. He'd won the argument about not more than three, at least, and Prker seemed content.

It was all worth it, though, to see Eliot on his stomach on the floor, talking to a kitten who was stalking and batting at his nose. 

"I found another job," Parker said, sitting down on the couch, scooping up White Cat (they'd had to let Parker name them) from Alec's keyboard and settling it on her lap. "There's an aquarium that keeps its dolphins in a tank that's way too small."

Alec just closed his eyes and moaned.


End file.
